A young couple had their fair share of surprises—especially when they found out they were making wildly different salaries while working at the same company. Things got even more intense after they got engaged and the woman announced she wanted to quit her job. When people online heard about it, they instantly labeled her a gold-digger, but her fiancé insists she’s not. Still, he was feeling uneasy… so he turned to Reddit for advice.
The man, a 30-year-old researcher at a big tech company, shared his story on the AITAH subreddit, hoping to get some outside perspective. He explained that he met his now-fiancée two and a half years ago during a company event. He was totally smitten the moment he saw her.
“She was smart, funny, super organized… I fell hard,” he wrote.
She worked in the marketing department, mostly planning and running events, and according to him, she was amazing at it. He loved how she could juggle a million tasks and still stay cool under pressure. Meanwhile, his own job was more relaxed and behind a desk, with regular hours. She, on the other hand, often worked late and was always on the go.
“She used to say, ‘You’ve got it easy. I’m out here running around like crazy while you’re chilling at your desk.’”
He also shared that he has ADD and often struggles with basic things like planning, staying focused, or keeping routines. That’s another reason he adores her—because she’s helped him so much. She’s been patient and supportive, and her ability to keep things together made his life better.
After a while, she moved in with him. That’s when they finally had the money talk. She knew he was doing well financially, but when she found out exactly how much he made, she was shocked—he was earning 15 times more than her!
Even though she was stunned, she didn’t ask him to pay for everything. In fact, she wanted to contribute, and they came up with a plan to split expenses based on how much each earned. He took care of most of the bills, and she focused on paying off her student loans, which she had paused at the time.
A month before his post, he proposed to her, and she said yes. She hadn’t ever asked him for anything expensive before, but this time, she wanted a $15,000 diamond engagement ring.
“I felt weird about spending that much on a ring,” he said, “but she told me, ‘It’s something I’ll wear for the rest of my life. It has to be perfect.’”
He gave in and bought it. But then something started bothering him—she kept mentioning the cost of the ring whenever she showed it off to friends or family.
“I asked her several times to stop bringing up how much it cost, but she wouldn’t,” he admitted.
Then came the big shocker.
The day before his Reddit post, his fiancée sat him down on the couch and told him she planned to quit her job next month. He was stunned.
“Wait, what? Why?” he asked.
She explained that since they were getting married that summer, she needed time to plan the wedding, which would take a lot of effort.
But when he asked why she needed to quit her job to do that, she dropped the real reason.
“I’m tired,” she said. “I work crazy hours, I’m exhausted all the time, and I just want to be a stay-at-home fiancée right now.”
He was floored.
“That’s not a thing,” he laughed, trying to lighten the mood. Then he reminded her, “You still have student loans, remember?”
She brushed it off, saying he made enough for both of them now and that they were a team. He asked her what she planned to do after the wedding, and she didn’t have an answer.
He offered a compromise: take a short break but don’t abandon your career entirely—especially not at 26 and without any kids. He wanted her to stay independent and not rely 100% on him, just in case anything ever went wrong.
That didn’t go over well. She got upset and accused him of being mean. In her view, they could afford for her to quit, so why not let her?
Even though her salary wasn’t needed, the whole thing made him deeply uncomfortable. He started to wonder: Is being a “stay-at-home fiancée” even a real thing? Or is this a huge red flag?
He turned to Reddit for answers.
People didn’t hold back.
“Did someone say gold-digger?” one user wrote. “She’s going to milk you dry—student loans, fancy ring, next it’ll be a luxury car and a bigger place. You’re financially incompatible.”
More comments poured in, and many warned him to be careful. But OP wasn’t ready to judge her just yet.
A few days later, he came back with an update.
After thinking it over, he decided to have a calm conversation with her. He ordered dinner, and once they were relaxed, he brought up the topic again—this time, in a more understanding tone.
She was defensive at first, but then she opened up. She said she felt her job didn’t matter, that she earned so little compared to him it felt pointless.
“I just don’t feel like I’m contributing,” she told him.
But he reassured her that her worth wasn’t just about money. He reminded her how talented she was and how hard she had worked to get where she was.
He also explained his fears—that with his high salary, he could be laid off one day, and if something ever happened to him, she wouldn’t be financially secure.
That seemed to get through to her.
She admitted that wedding planning was overwhelming and that she was burnt out from work. She said:
“I feel like a machine. I come home with no energy left. I just want to plan this wedding from a happy place.”
Eventually, she agreed to a compromise. She’d quit her job, but only for now. She promised to start looking for a new one after their honeymoon, hopefully something with more regular hours. She even talked about going back to school to get her Master’s degree.
“I’m not trying to be a trophy wife,” she said. “I just need a reset.”
That answer gave him some peace. He felt it was a fair deal. She was still planning to resign, but now he understood her reasons better.
He also admitted that he could see why people online called her a gold-digger. He grew up poor, and even now he tries not to flaunt his wealth because he knows how hard life can be. Seeing her show off the ring made him uncomfortable—but he also realized she was just proud and excited.
He ended his update by saying he still believed in her.
“If I’m going to marry her, I need to trust my gut. And my gut says she’s not using me.”
But Reddit wasn’t so sure.
“Yeah, that ring was a huge red flag,” one user wrote. “She saw your paycheck and suddenly wanted to quit working? Get real.”
“She’s never going back to work lol,” another added.
“Her plan is literally to quit, let you pay for everything—including her student loans—so she can plan a one-day event? What’s the plan after the wedding? Just… exist?”
And some took aim at OP’s parents, who apparently insisted he marry this year.
“You lost all credibility when you said your parents are insisting you get married this year. Are you 30 or 13?” one commenter asked.
Many urged him to protect himself:
“Get a prenup. And use birth control. She’s setting you up for a world of hurt,” one said bluntly.
“Hope for the best—but prepare for the worst,” another warned. “Secure your future.”
Despite all the advice, warnings, and red flags, OP seemed ready to take a leap of faith. Whether it’s love or a mistake in the making… only time will tell.
