I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule titled “How to Be a Better Wife.” I could feel my anger bubbling up, but instead of blowing up, I decided to play along. I knew Jake was about to learn a crucial lesson about marriage.
In our relationship, I’ve always been the calm one, while Jake often gets obsessed with things—whether it’s a new hobby or some YouTube video promising to change his life in three easy steps. Everything was fine until Jake met Steve.
Steve was the kind of guy who thought being loud meant being right. He’d bulldoze over anyone who tried to correct him and was always dishing out relationship advice, even though he was perpetually single. To my surprise, Jake was drawn to Steve’s overconfidence and started echoing his harmful ideas.
At first, I brushed off Jake’s comments. “Steve says marriages work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say, or, “Steve thinks women should always look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.” I’d respond with a sarcastic comment, but it began to sting. Jake was changing.
He’d roll his eyes if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, or sigh when I couldn’t manage the laundry because I had a full-time job.
Then one night, Jake sat me down with something he called “The List.”
With a tone I’d never heard before, he slid a piece of paper across the table. “You’re a great wife, Lisa, but there’s room for improvement,” he said, completely unaware of the trouble he was stirring up.
I glanced at the paper: “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife.” It was a rigid schedule dictating every aspect of my day, based on Steve’s misguided beliefs about what a wife “should” do.
According to this list, I had to wake up at 5 a.m. to make Jake a gourmet breakfast, hit the gym, clean, do laundry, and cook dinner every night—all before or after working my full-time job. It was sexist, insulting, and downright absurd. But instead of exploding, I just smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’ll start tomorrow.”
Relief washed over his face. Little did he know what was coming.
The next morning, I sat down at my laptop and created my own list: “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” I copied everything from his schedule but added a few twists. A personal trainer to keep in shape? That’s $1,200. Want me to cook like a professional chef? Our grocery bill will soar to $700 a month, and Jake might need to take a cooking class too.
Then came the kicker. If I was going to dedicate myself to being a “perfect wife,” I’d need to quit my job. So, I added my annual salary to the list: “$75,000 to replace Lisa’s income since she’ll now be your full-time maid, chef, and personal assistant.”
I could barely contain my laughter imagining Jake’s reaction. The final touch? A $50,000 expense to build him a separate “man cave” so his friends wouldn’t disrupt my new, perfectly structured life.
That evening, Jake came home in high spirits—until he saw the list.
“What’s this?” he asked, puzzled.
“Oh, just a little guide I made for you,” I said with a sweet smile, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
As he read through the first few lines, his grin faded fast. The numbers, the demands, the sheer ridiculousness of it all hit him hard. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? And… wait, you’re quitting your job?”
I crossed my arms and leaned against the counter. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? You wanted structure, right?”
The realization dawned on him. His smugness evaporated, replaced by panic. “I… I didn’t mean for it to be like this. Steve made it sound reasonable, but now I see how absurd it is.”
I nodded. “Exactly. Marriage isn’t about one person being ‘better’ than the other. It’s about mutual respect. If you ever try to ‘improve’ me like this again, you’ll be paying a lot more than what’s on that paper.”
Jake’s face softened, and he sighed deeply. “I’m sorry, Lisa. I got carried away. You’re right—Steve’s advice was toxic.”
We tore up both lists together, and for the first time in weeks, I felt like we were on the same team again. This whole experience reminded us that a strong marriage isn’t about perfection; it’s about growing better together.
