In August 2017, Tony Alarcon’s phone rang unexpectedly. He thought it was just another telemarketer trying to sell him something. But this time, he answered—and he was glad he did.
Getting a call from the school always makes a parent nervous. Tony immediately worried. Was his daughter, Demetra, okay? Had something happened to her?
The truth was something Tony could never have expected.
It was a scorching 90-degree summer day in Northern California. That morning, Tony had dropped off his 13-year-old daughter, Demetra, at Raymond J. Fisher Middle School in Los Gatos, California. She was dressed in a blue romper to stay cool, and neither she nor her dad thought anything was wrong with it.
But someone at school did. A teacher decided her outfit was “too distracting” for the boys.
The teacher told Demetra that her romper was too short, so Tony rushed back to school with a new set of clothes—jean shorts and a tank top. But when he handed them over, the school’s administration told him that those clothes were inappropriate too.
Tony couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I asked Demetra to bend over and touch her toes, right in front of the administrator,” Tony told TODAY. “And I said, ‘Nothing is hanging out. There’s nothing inappropriate. I don’t understand this dress code rule.’”
Father fights California middle school's dress code for teen daughter https://t.co/qoTOVO7fJ6 pic.twitter.com/V1tUrOWCTO
— CBS News (@CBSNews) September 16, 2017
Even after that, the school still insisted that Demetra’s outfit was “distracting.” With temperatures sweltering at 90 degrees, Tony had no choice but to go back to his car and grab a pair of leggings for Demetra to wear.
Understandably, Demetra was mortified.
“You get pulled out of class in front of everyone…She’s just a kid. She’s only 13 years old. She’s not a sex symbol. She just wants to be comfortable and attend class, and we’re not giving her that opportunity,” Tony said, frustrated.
This wasn’t the first time Demetra had been dress-coded. Just a week earlier, she had been scolded for a visible bra strap.
“When I got dress-coded one time last week, they said my bra strap was showing,” Demetra shared with the San Jose Mercury News. “Lord forbid I might be wearing a bra.”
Tony, who was a successful investment advisor and a father of two, wasn’t about to let this go. He was outraged by what he saw as an unfair dress code that mostly affected girls. He took to social media to express his frustration, and soon, parents across the country joined him, agreeing that the school’s dress code was outdated and sexist.
“Demetra isn’t the only one. Just sit in Fisher’s parking lot, and you’ll see that,” Tony said. “I’ve heard from many girls that they just want to be comfortable, but they feel like they’re being forced to wear leggings in 100-degree heat.”
Tony believed that parents, not schools, should have the final say on what their kids wear. He also worried about how constantly being told their clothes are “distracting” might hurt young girls emotionally.
The story quickly gained attention, and major news outlets started covering Tony’s fight. Although the school wouldn’t speak on camera, they did release a statement:
“The Los Gatos Union School District believes that appropriate dress and grooming contribute to a productive learning environment,” Abbati said in a statement to TODAY. “Students are expected to wear clothes that reflect the collective core values of our learning community.”
Tony’s efforts didn’t go unnoticed. Thanks to his persistence, the Los Gatos Union School District reviewed its dress code to make sure it would be fairer and less restrictive for all students.
Lisa Fraser, the school’s principal, explained that the school’s “Fashion Faux Pas” rules applied to both boys and girls. Some banned items included hats or hoods indoors, visible underwear, inappropriate logos or words, and shorts with less than 4-inch inseams.
“We’ve always had a dress code,” Fraser told the newspaper. “These rules are meant to maintain reasonable decorum. I set the guidelines for the school, but I want to reflect the values of our community.”
In the end, Tony Alarcon’s determination sparked a conversation about how school dress codes impact girls. He showed that one parent’s voice can truly make a difference.
What do you think about the school’s dress code? Have you or your children faced something like this? Feel free to share your thoughts and stories in the comments!
